premise kung bakit ko pinagtiyagaan ito:
i was really really really bored at nababaliw na dahil technically bedridden or sofa-ridden ako dahil sa asthma.. and a friend gave me this link ng isang episode ng morning rush by chico and delamar sa RX. they asked their listeners to send in the cheesiest and like the worst lines ever na maiisip nila if magkakaroon ng tagalog version ang twilight (i think this was during the height ng takipsilim issue)...

Note: i super super super love twilight so hindi ko binabarubal ang twilight pero sobrang nakakatawa lang kasi pag pinakinggan yung lines kasi purely joke time sya... and mga tao ang nagtext nito, plus the DJs input na rin haha

to hear / download the episode mismo:
http://www.mediafire.com/?nw41ttzj55m
http://cdtop10.blogspot.com/


TOP 10 BAD LINES FROM A FICTITIOUS TAGALOG VERSION OF TWILIGHT

Cast:

Eddie boy munggo (Edward Cullen)
Belya bibe (Isabella swan)
Impeng negro (Jacob black)


First set:
10. Eddie boy: your scent is like a drug to me
Belya: Adik

9. Belya: Eddie boy wala na kong panty (ok di sya funny basahin, mas funny sya pakinggan, pero honestly wala syang sense)

8. Edward: Belya front view, side view, rear view, top view, at kahit ano pang view…
I love you…

7. Bella: … bakit ayaw mo kong kagatin?
Edward: ang gusto kong kagatin si Jacob

6. Eddie boy: at ngayon minahal ng leon ang anak ng tupa
Eddie boy: at ako ang leon. Rawr!
Belya: ano baaaa!

5. belya: Eddie boy wag mo kong tingnan na parang red cross ako

4. Belya: Edward bakit ang lamig mo?
Edward: sige lang bella, hawakan mo lang iinit din yan.

3. James: aba aba aba aba! at nagdala ka pa ng meryenda… dinuguan!

2. Belya: alice alice anong nakikita mo?
Alice: hindi kinagat ni james ang plano natin na ligawin sya?
Belya: ano pang nakikita mo… sa 2009?
Alice: tataas ang presyo ng langis.

1. Edward: belya pagod na pagod na kong umiwas sayo
bella:  Eddie eddie e di wag kang umiwas

Last Set:
10. Eddie: magandang umaga cupcake kumusta ka ngayon. Pinanood kita habang
natutulog ka…
Jacob: hihihi

9. Bella: maputla balat mo, kakaiba bilis mo, at ang lakas lakas mo…. Pacheeseburger
ka naman! Burger! Burger!

8. (may sagot si Edward dyan…)
Edward: burger ka dyan! Ikaw ang kagatin ko e…
Vampires: Tao! Tao! Pa-tao ka naman!

7. Bella: eddie boy wag.. wag ngayon, may “visitor” ako e.
Edward: e di mas ok.

6. Bella: I know what you are.
Edward: say it out loud. say it!
Bella: BADING! BADING! PURO KA FOUNDATION AT GLITTER!

5. (SCENE WHERE EDWARD SHOWS BELLA NA NAGI-GLITTER YUNG BODY NILA SA SUN)
Eddie boy: Bella ito ang dahilan kung bakit di kami nagbababad sa araw
(opens his shirt)
Bella: ano? manboobs?

4. Bella: Edward nagugutom ka na ba? bilis kagatin mo na ko Edward! kagatin mo na!
Edward: eww.. you’re hilaw!

3. Bella’s dad (warning Edward about hurting Belya):
Charlie: Wag paglalaruan ang puso ng babae dahil nagiisa lang yon. Ang dibdib
pwede kasi dalawa.

2. Scene: Eddie boy visits belya’s home, belya’s yaya answers the door
edward: hi im Edward
Yaya: hala kilala kita. Haru dugo dugo gang ka no?

1. Tagalog musical version of twilight
Edward: bella ella ella eh eh eh
Bella: eh eh eeddie eddie di di di
Jacob: di di diyacob Jacob Jacob..


o eto pa dagdag.. wala to dun sa file pero naalala ng friend ko na nakarinig nung episode...


Dra. Vicky Belo saw Edward's perfect skin, was amazed by it and offered to take care of it.
Edward: Sorry... only Bella touches my face


nagpapakagat na raw si belya kay edward.
Edward: Teka, magpablood test ka muna.
Belya: Bakit, eto na nga pumayag na ko inumin mo dugo ko.
Edward: Sisiguraduhin ko lang na.... type kita.

• My brother is not a girl; he’s a gentleman.
• That’s why I’m a success, it’s because I don’t middle in other people’s lives.
• Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book.
• I won’t stoop down to my level.
• Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
• ‘Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
• Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo...Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
• We are lovers, not fighters.
• Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.
• I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival.
• Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
• Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
• I keep my crown in the voltage.
• Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?
• I couldn’t care a damn!
• What’s your next class before this?
• Hello, my brother Joey is out of town, would you like to wait?
• Don’t touch me not!
• You! you’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!
• Bakit ang dami mong tanong? You're so questionable.
• You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice. But you can never fool me FOUR!
• Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko...sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-PERSUAVE ng mga kwento niya? Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae...talaga lang malapit siya sa mga gulo...PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya eh.
• Boy Abunda: O Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong magmo-Mormon ka na? Melanie: Ah okay lang 'yon Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong SEMI-RETARDED.
• (answering the phone) Hello. Wait a moment. Please hang yourself.
• (before Christmas) Well, I want to spend my holidays with my family most probably out of place.
• Why I will give my calling card, I'm not a call girl. (Her reply to a certain duke when the latter is asking for her calling card.)
• Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat. (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)
• Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point. (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right)
• And the base of my observation is... (showbiz stripped May 14 GMA Ch. 7)
• At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek’s mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). "Oo nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, "And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!"
• (When asked for a message to her daughter who was allegedly abused by their houseboy) Don't worry little angel, big angel is here.
• (On what they should do to the houseboy who molested her daughter) He should be put behind bar.
• (While waiting backstage during a noontime show after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number) Nikki, you're so galing. You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes!
• (While she's in Morning Girls With Kris & Korina promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick) Please watch HIRAM starring Aleck Baldwin (referring to Aleck Bovick) and myself. It's DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara.
• (After giving birth, and an interview on The Buzz) My answers have been prayered!
• (To ex-flame Senator Lito Lapid) Hello...Huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh! (In response to being misunderstood) You know, huwag kang tumahol like dogs.

resulta na mag-isa ka na lang gising, and you're tired and cranky and sleepy... ang loser talaga magmuni-muni!!! 

in one’s life you reach a certain point that you get tired of everything that’s on your plate.  Things just get so unreasonable and illogical that you just can’t help being bitter.. or numb. 

 
You become pathetic.

 
You become helpless.

 
You become someone you yourself would even hate.

 
But then you realize that things would just have to put themselves into place, and you can’t do anything about it but to just sit back, relax and watch . 

And maybe, just maybe all the tortures you’ve gone through may be worth it.